Writing is fascinating to me - my thoughts flow like a gushing spring when I write, and I feel refreshed and joyful after finishing. That's the charm of writing for me~
I recently finished reading "The Courage to Be Disliked". Actually, I started reading this book three months ago, and according to WeChat Reading, it took me 7 hours and 31 minutes to finish. So on average, I spent 5 minutes reading each day. It seems that I have a certain sense of relaxation when it comes to reading.
(Relaxation, a popular term recently, means "letting go of the desire to control everything and accepting the natural occurrences more calmly. This naturally includes accepting a 'non-relaxed' self as well." - from "Toutiao")
1#
In my opinion, the whole book is essentially about how to live a less exhausting life and how to live a happier life.
In the beginning of the book, the author mainly raises questions and viewpoints. Here are some of the author's viewpoints that I have summarized:
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"A person who has experienced domestic violence and stays indoors for a long time does not stay indoors because of the experience of domestic violence, but because they have their own purpose, such as not wanting to go out, so they create an uneasy mood."
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"All troubles come from interpersonal relationships, and the source of happiness also lies in interpersonal relationships."
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"Under a reward-punishment education system, a wrong way of life can be formed, such as 'if no one praises me, I won't do good things' or 'if no one punishes me, I will do bad things'."
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"How can a person gain 'courage'? A person can only gain courage when they feel valuable, and as long as we 'exist here', we are already useful and valuable to others."
At first glance, these viewpoints may be difficult for me to accept or even seem absurd, but in the book, they are well argued.
In fact, the core message that the author wants to convey is to face oneself, accept oneself, and be a person who dares to be disliked by others.
This also reminds me of a lyric by Zhao Lei: "There are many people in this world who mock me, and you are just one of them."
2#
At the end of the book, there is a viewpoint that I really like: Life is a series of moments.
How should we understand this?
It means that we should imagine life as a series of continuous points, rather than just having a starting point and an endpoint. Otherwise, it would be like saying that if we haven't reached the endpoint, it means that our life is a failure.
Take traveling as an example. The moment we step out of our home, the journey has already begun, and every moment on the way to the destination is part of the journey.
This reminds me of my graduation trip - a self-driving tour of the western Sichuan loop. The characteristic of traveling in western Sichuan is that the distance between each attraction is quite far, and the driving time to the next attraction is usually more than 5 hours. At that time, I always expected the scenery at the destination to be beautiful, but I only realized after arriving that the most beautiful scenery was on the road - the golden snow-capped mountains under the bright sun, the vast green grasslands, the misty and enchanting mountain roads...
So, enjoying the here and now is a kind of happiness.