Hello, 宝子们，it's time for the weekly update. Today, I want to recommend to 宝子们 what I call the "power of reverse persistence."
1#
Sometimes, I find that the more I try to persist in something, the harder it becomes to do so. As the saying goes, "the more you declare your determination, the more likely you are to fail."
For example, last year I set a goal to "learn how to cook 100 dishes that my girlfriend wants to eat" and planned to complete it in two years. However, the reality is that I only learned 8 dishes in a year, leaving 92 dishes remaining. It is estimated that it will take another 9 to 10 years to complete the challenge.
Another example is the recent goal I set to "start a new day with a little sweat" here. The plan was to wake up half an hour earlier on weekdays for exercise. However, in October, I only managed to wake up early and exercise 22 times, and in November, it decreased to 13 times, with each session becoming shorter and shorter.
2#
So what should we do? Should we give up easily?
My suggestion is to "give up," but not the big goal, only the specific process we set for ourselves.
- Let's talk about "learning how to cook." The big goal is actually to take control of our own nutrition and improve our sense of happiness by creating a homey feeling.
However, I added the additional task of making short videos to document the process (those interested can check them out on the video platform). As someone who was a complete novice in the kitchen, I had to pay attention to camera angles and filming positions while cooking, which could add an extra hour to the cooking time. After finishing the meal, I had to prepare video editing, add captions, and do post-production, which took at least 2 hours.
At first, I was able to persist because of the novelty of cooking and making videos. But gradually, I started to feel that the "input-output ratio" of this task was too high. Just the thought of editing a 2-hour video gave me a headache. For a while, I preferred to eat out casually, and that's what I did.
Later on, I adjusted the process of learning how to cook. First, I gave up the additional task of making videos. Second, I stopped buying raw ingredients and started buying pre-cut and pre-prepared ingredients (I really admire the concept of pre-prepared ingredients, as it allows users to focus on the most fulfilling part). As for how to cook efficiently, I mentioned it in Weekly Update #2. The cooking time can be kept within 20 minutes.
After reducing the difficulty of the task, it became very easy to cook on weekends, and it didn't deviate from our big goal.
- Now let's talk about "morning exercise." The big goal is to promote better sleep and relax our bodies.
However, the exercise plans I chose on Kxxp were either focused on getting six-pack abs or various intense workouts, which not only made me sweat but also required me to take a shower afterwards.
At first, I was able to persist because of the novelty and sense of achievement. But gradually, I started to feel that this task took up too much time, with each session taking about 40 minutes. For a while, I would wake up early but had no intention of exercising. Moreover, because I knew I would exercise the next morning, I had a reason not to go to the gym in the evening (well, I fooled myself).
Later on, I also adjusted the process of morning exercise. First, I changed the exercise time from 30 minutes to 15 minutes. Second, I changed the type of exercise from muscle building and fat burning to gentle relaxation, such as stretching the shoulders, neck, waist, and back.
Surprisingly, I have resumed my regular morning exercise routine, and I have achieved all of my big goals. Also, because the morning exercise is focused on stretching and relaxation, I no longer have an excuse to skip the gym in the evening.
3#
This is what I recommend as the "power of reverse persistence." For things that we can't persist in, we can try to give up part of the process, reduce the difficulty, or even take a break from persistence. Don't burden yourself too much.
Just like how a metal rod can be ground into a needle, persisting little by little in the long run is more effective than forcing ourselves in the short term.